she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
