The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
