Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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