oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
