I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
