I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
