Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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