You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
