Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
