my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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