Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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