Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
