the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
