Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
