I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize