and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize