Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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