The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
