What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
