It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
