Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
