thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize