Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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