So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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