In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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