i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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