I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
