Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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