he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
