There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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