I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
