If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Girls should come with a carfax report
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
