Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize