you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
