HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Your cock deserves a montage
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
