you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize