you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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