I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Let's paint friendship bongs
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize