i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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