Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
