There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
