I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
