bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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