the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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