he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This is my gift to your gina
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
