The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
