Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize