Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
