I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize