Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
