We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
