Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
