i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
as a side note pls kill me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize