time to smoke my breakfast
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
