You work out of a Hotel?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
please come you make the beer taste better
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
