he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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