You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
