ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
how drunk are you?
Several
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
