Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
