He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
