Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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