i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize