Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
