i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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