Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
