she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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