I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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