the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
